Why Is Making Decisions So Hard When You Feel Anxious?

By Leanna Lapidus, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist & Transformational Coach, creator of the Lapidus Shift Method™

You make a decision. Then, a few minutes later, you start questioning it.

“What if I made the wrong choice?”

“Maybe I should have waited.”

“Let me ask one more person.”

You can spend more time thinking about a decision than actually making it. Even choosing how to respond to a message or whether to accept an invitation can feel exhausting.

Anxiety can make decisions feel harder because uncertainty starts to feel like a problem you must solve before you act. You may focus on what could go wrong, keep looking for reassurance, or wait until you feel completely sure. But many decisions do not come with that kind of certainty.

Why do I overthink every decision?

Sometimes you need more information. Other times, you already have enough information, but you are afraid of making a mistake, disappointing someone, or regretting your choice.

Those are different situations. More research may help with the first. It may not settle the second.

In my hypnotherapy and coaching practice, we explore the meaning a decision carries for you. You might be choosing whether to say no, while also thinking, “What if they stop liking me?” You might be considering a new opportunity while thinking, “What if I fail?”

The practical choice becomes tangled with fear about what the outcome would say about you.

What is decision anxiety?

“Decision anxiety” is an everyday description of feeling worried, tense, or stuck when making choices. It is not a diagnosis by itself.

You might notice:

• Comparing the same options repeatedly.
• Asking several people what you should do.
• Putting off a choice because neither option feels completely safe.
• Feeling relieved briefly, then questioning your decision again.
• Replaying what you should have done after the moment has passed.

People sometimes call feeling unable to choose decision paralysis. Having these experiences does not automatically mean you have an anxiety disorder. If persistent worry is interfering with daily life, a qualified mental health professional can help assess what is happening.

Why do I keep second-guessing myself after making a decision?

Making the choice does not always settle the fear behind it.

You may have booked the trip, sent the message, or said no—and still be asking whether you did the right thing. The question can shift from “What should I choose?” to “Can someone promise I won’t regret this?”

If you grew up being criticized for mistakes, having your choices questioned, or feeling responsible for other people’s reactions, those experiences may be worth exploring. They are possible influences, not an explanation that applies to everyone.

Ask yourself: “Am I responding to new information, or am I returning to the same fear?”

You are allowed to reconsider when circumstances change. You can also notice when reconsidering has become a loop that is not giving you anything new.

How can I stop overthinking a decision?

Try these steps with an ordinary, low-stakes choice. Important medical, financial, or legal decisions deserve appropriate professional advice and time.

1. Name the choice in one sentence

“I’m deciding whether to accept this invitation.”

Keep the actual decision separate from every possible future consequence.

2. Separate missing information from fear

Ask: “What do I genuinely need to know?”

Then ask: “If I had that information, would I be ready to choose—or would I find another reason to worry?”

3. Notice the rule you are putting on yourself

It might sound like, “I must never disappoint anyone,” or “I have to get this right the first time.”

A more flexible thought could be: “I can consider other people without ignoring what matters to me.”

4. Give a small decision a reasonable limit

For a reversible choice, choose a point at which you will stop comparing and take the next step. The amount of time should match the importance of the decision.

5. Practice letting some uncertainty remain

You may still feel uneasy after choosing. Notice that feeling without immediately reopening the decision. A little uncertainty does not, by itself, prove that you made a mistake.

My approach: exploring the beliefs behind the second-guessing

When someone comes to me feeling stuck in a decision, I want to understand more than which option they are considering. I want to understand what choosing brings up for them.

“What are you afraid will happen if you make the wrong choice?”

“What would that mean about you?”

“Whose approval are you waiting for?”

Sometimes a person has learned to connect mistakes with criticism, rejection, or disappointment. They may know what they want and still feel afraid to act on it. We explore those possibilities together rather than assume every person’s anxiety has the same cause.

My work is to empower you to recognize the beliefs influencing your choices and practice responses that reflect who you are today.

Discover: notice the belief beneath the worry

Through the Lapidus Shift Method™, we begin by identifying the recurring thought and the meaning attached to it. “What if I choose wrong?” might connect to “I cannot trust myself” or “I must keep everyone happy.”

Release: make room for the feelings you have been carrying

We explore the feelings connected to that belief without pressuring you to find a particular memory or explanation. Guided imagery and hypnotherapy may be part of this process, depending on your needs and goals.

Reframe & Renew: practice a more balanced belief

We work on replacing rigid expectations with thoughts you can use in everyday life. For example: “I can make a thoughtful choice without knowing every outcome,” or “Someone can disagree with me, and I can still respect my decision.”

Transform: bring the practice into daily choices

Change also involves what you practice between sessions. That might mean making a small choice without asking several people, noticing a familiar fear without immediately following it, or allowing yourself to learn from an imperfect outcome.

The goal is not for me to make your decisions. It is for you to develop greater self-trust and feel more able to choose for yourself.

Learn more about my hypnotherapy and coaching approach for anxiety in Los Angeles and online.

Hypnotherapy is a complementary approach, and results vary. Research does not establish it as a guaranteed treatment for decision anxiety. It should not replace needed mental health care.

Frequently asked questions about anxiety and making decisions

Can anxiety make small decisions feel overwhelming?

Yes. A small choice can feel much bigger when it becomes connected to fears about mistakes, rejection, or regret. The level of worry may reflect more than the practical importance of the choice.

Is asking for advice a bad thing?

No. Advice can be useful. Notice whether you are gaining information or repeatedly asking the same question because reassurance wears off. The aim is to use support while also developing trust in your own judgment.

Do I have to feel confident before I decide?

Not always. With a low-stakes choice, you can practice acting on the information you have while allowing some uncertainty. Confidence may develop through practice rather than arrive before every decision.

Can we work together online?

Yes. I offer private sessions in Los Angeles and online. We can discuss your goals and whether my approach is a good fit during a free Clarity Call.

You don’t have to keep figuring this out alone

For over 15 years, I’ve been helping people with anxiety and overthinking. That includes 10 years at Passages Malibu. You can read more about my background and approach here.

If second-guessing and fear of making the wrong choice are taking up too much space in your day, let’s talk about what you are experiencing and the support you are looking for.

Schedule your free 15-minute Clarity Call.

Fill out the short form, then choose a time on my calendar. We’ll discuss your questions and whether working together feels like a good fit. No pressure to continue.